


You Matter to Me

by destiel_hugged_sabriel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas is Human, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-31
Updated: 2014-12-31
Packaged: 2018-03-04 11:44:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3066644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/destiel_hugged_sabriel/pseuds/destiel_hugged_sabriel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas wants to join the brothers on a hunt. Dean isn't so sure that it's a good idea, but Cas isn't really asking for permission. He needs to prove to them that he isn't useless. He needs them to know he can still be helpful. But Cas's plans have a habit of not turning out so well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Matter to Me

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my second story ever. It was a bday present for my best friend otherwise I probably would have never written it. Again, this was written at like 4 am and barely checked over for any grammar errors so sorry for the abundance you're sure to find. Please enjoy and I hope it doesn't suck too much :D
> 
> New title! Originally "Everyone Matters" but I didn't find it fitting or care for it much anyways.

The mission did not go at all as planned. It was supposed to be simple. Just like any average hunt. Lucky for the boys, the case was in Lebanon, not too far away from the bunker. Some crocotta was luring its victims out into a small shack on a rundown farm. On their own, Sam and Dean could take care of this with no problem. But there was a certain fallen angel who needed to do something to keep his mind off the fact that he no longer had his grace. Dean had argued with Sam about how allowing Cas to join them on this hunt was a terrible idea.  
“He’s not strong enough, Sammy. He can’t fight well enough without his powers. He’ll be a distraction, and we both know it.”  
Sam partially agreed with Dean, but he also didn’t want Cas to sit around the bunker feeling useless anymore. So in the end, Dean had very reluctantly agreed to let Cas tag along.  
The boys had found the small, rusty shack and approached with caution. There was no one around, and it was too quiet for comfort. Sam went to pick the lock, but found the door was already slightly open. Once they got inside, they weren’t any less on edge, as they didn’t see anything indoors either. Dean stopped and turned to Cas.  
“Stay here,” he ordered. “Keep look out or something. Sam and I can handle this, kay?” Cas gave a discouraged look but nodded. Sam and Dean spent the next few minutes looking around the shack. It wasn’t too big after all. There were only a few rooms. They were turning a corner to meet Cas back by the front door when they heard a loud crash. They exchanged quick, worried glances before running into the room. The crocotta had been out when they came into its hut. When it came in, it didn’t see Cas immediately, as he was standing off to the side. Instead of calling out and causing more trouble, Cas tried to quietly make his way to the brothers, but stumbled over something on the floor and bumped into a shelf, getting the crocotta’s attention. When Dean and Sam came into the main room, they saw a man hovering over a frightened Castiel. They soon realized this man was no man at all, but the creature. As it unhinged its jaw, exposing its large sharp teeth, Dean didn’t hesitate another second, rushing at the monster and shoving his blade into it with a force great enough for the blade to reach through to the crocotta’s spine. It cried out its final breath before falling to the ground. It was dead but not before it had caused damage. Cas was lying on the ground, eyes looking up towards the ceiling, unfocused. He had a gash that ran from just below his chest to down his left side. Dean knelt down next to him, trying not to panic.  
“Cas? Hey, look at me. Focus on me, okay Cas?”  
Cas blinked his eyes and looked over at Dean. He smiled weakly. “You were right, Dean. I shouldn’t have come along. I- I’m sorry..” Cas’ eyes began to close.  
“No, no, no. Hey! Keep your eyes open, Cas Come on, man just stay with me.” Dean was giving light taps to Cas’ cheeks to try and keep him awake. “Sammy, we gotta get him home.”  
Sam and Dean very carefully but quickly moved Cas to the car and drove back to the bunker as fast as they could. Once inside, Sam got to work immediately and did as best a patch job as he could on Cas as Dean paced outside the room. He wanted to be in there with Cas, but he figured he should give Sam space. Plus, Dean didn’t think Sam would be able to concentrate on what he was doing if he was was pacing back and forth all over the room. Once Sam finished up, he came out to let Dean know he could go sit with Cas if he wanted.  
“He’s out right now. Could be for a while, too but I figured you’d wanna sit with him? Be there when he wakes up so he’s not freaking out.” When Dean didn’t respond, Sam just gave his shoulder a reassuring pat and went to his room. Dean hovered in the doorway for a bit before he decided Sam was right. Someone should be there for Cas when he wakes up and Dean wanted to be that someone. Hours had gone by but Dean never got out of his chair that he brought to the side of Cas’ bed. Sam came in to check on him, too. He went out to get food but Dean said he wasn’t hungry. Nothing was going to move him from where he was.  
Dean was absentmindedly flipping through a magazine that Sam brought for him when he came back with the food when he heard a soft groan come from the figure on the bed. Cas was waking up. Dean tossed the magazine on the night stand and sat up straighter in his chair.  
“Cas? Hey, how are ya feeling?” Dean leaned forward in his chair as Cas began gaining consciousness. Cas opened his eyes but kept his focus on the ceiling.  
“Dean? What happened? Why am I in the bunker?” Cas looked around the room with confusion. Dean matched his look, leaning back slightly in his seat.  
“What do you mean, Cas? Sammy and I brought you back here to patch you up. You got pretty banged up on the case.” Dean was frowning. Cas still seemed very confused.  
“Cas? You gonna be okay?” Something in Cas’ expression changed, as if everything had suddenly become clear to him and he turned to face Dean.  
“I will be fine, Dean. I was just confused. I did not understand why I was in the bunker.”  
“Confused? You almost died and your first thought when you realize you’re not dead is to be confused about why you’re in the bunker?” Dean shook his head. “You make no sense somtimes.”  
Cas focused his eyes back up towards the ceiling. “I was confused to be in the bunker because I thought I had died, Dean. I did not know why I’d end up here in the end.”  
Dean sat up to the edge of his seat. “What? You thought you died and you didn’t care about that? You were just confused because of where you thought you ended up? Cas, what the hell?”  
“I did not care that I was dead, or thought I was anyway, because I had come to terms with my fate. I was ready to be gone.” Dean’s anger drained from him instantly. He understood how Cas felt. He’d been there himself.  
“What changed?”  
A small smile appeared on Castiel’s face. “I thought of you.”  
Dean raised a questioning eyebrow, waiting for Cas to elaborate.  
“I have spent so much time here on earth, Dean. There were a lot of good times but also a lot of pain and suffering. Most of it was caused by me. I have died many times before, too” he gave a small laugh at how simply he was able to say that. “Obviously, I was brought back for one reason or another. Each of those times, I was never ready to go. I did not want my time here to be cut so short.” Cas paused, drawing in a shaky breath. “But this time… this time I was ready. I had caused enough pain and if I was finally gone once and for all, I could cause no more. And besides without my powers I am all but useless. There was no need for me just sitting around the bunker. So I was at peace with myself. Until I thought of you. I couldn't leave you again.”  
Dean frowned at the troubled tone of Cas’ voice.  
“What do you mean you couldn't leave me? I mean, how could you even be thinking of me at a time like that?”  
Cas turned his head so that he was looking directly at Dean who was burrowing his eyebrows in confusion. “How could I not think of you, Dean? It was you who made me realize that there were things worth fighting for, people worth fighting for. I couldn't just let go of everything you taught me. I had to fight for you.”  
Dean’s frown deepened and he shook his head. “Cas, what the hell man? Maybe you haven’t noticed, but I’m not exactly a great guy. I've done some terrible things. I ain't worth fighting for.’’  
Cas sat up slowly so he didn't ruin Sam’s patch job. He winced at the sharp pain caused by his movement but was fine again a moment later. He let his legs hang off the side of the bed.  
“You need to give yourself more credit. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes, Dean. Then you would realize just how special you are.” The sincerity of Cas’ words made Dean’s heart both swell and break. Cas saw Dean as some sort of hero and it confused Dean that anyone besides Sam could see any sort of worth in him. Cas watched as Dean battled with his thoughts. He reached his hand out and placed it on top of Dean’s.  
“You may never see it, but you are a very good man, Dean Winchester. I only wish I could do something to make you believe me.” Dean stared down at Cas’ hand resting lightly on his. Cas noticed this and went to pull his hand back, but Dean grabbed onto it before he could.  
“You’re right. I don’t believe it and I probably never will either, but you stayed. You stayed for me, and that has to count for something, right?” Cas gave Dean’s hand a light squeeze and smiled.  
“I’d always come back for you, Dean. If it meant showing you how great your worth was.”  
Dean smiled too, giving Cas’ hand a squeeze back.  
“You’re something else, you know that? Only someone as dumb as you would waste your time on me.”  
“Only someone as dumb as you would consider my time spent with you ‘wasted’.”  
Dean stood up from his seat so he was directly in front of Cas. He let go of Cas’ hand only to place his on either side of Cas’ face. Dean pulled him closer and placed a gentle kiss to Cas’ forehead. Dean then lowered his hands, wrapping them around Cas and pulling him into a tight embrace. Cas wrapped his arms around Dean’s waist and placed his head on Dean’s chest. Cas closed his eyes as he listened to the steady beat of Dean’s heart. Dean’s eyes shut, too.  
“I was so worried I lost you today.” Dean’s voice was barely a whisper and his hands clenched desperately to the fabric of Cas’ shirt.  
Cas didn't respond. He just tightened his hold around Dean.  
“You’re not useless.” Dean said finally pulling back from Cas. He sat next to him on the bed.  
Cas gave Dean a confused look. “What?”  
“You’re not useless. You said you were useless. But you’re wrong.”  
Cas gave a small smile and looked at Dean with such profound fondness. “Thank you, Dean. That means a lot coming from you.”  
“Yea, yea. S’whatever” he looked down at his lap trying to keep the pinkness of his cheeks to himself. Dean leaned back on the bed and held one of his arms up. “Now come here.”  
Cas slowly laid back down and Dean wrapped his arm carefully around his waist. They laid in comfortable silence until they both fell asleep. Sam came in the room a while later to check on Cas and smiled at what he saw.  
“Finally.” He said, shutting the light off and closing the door.


End file.
